


Texts to the Other Side

by kikibug13



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, texts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikibug13/pseuds/kikibug13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of texts over years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texts to the Other Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [booknerdguru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/booknerdguru/gifts).



> There have been some beautiful modern AU fics in this fandom, and then the idea for this happened. Who am I to resist? 
> 
> And yes, I'm aware the timing for some events doesn't quite work like that, but it's AU already, right?
> 
> Thanks to [evocates](http://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates/) for the beta!

The same day

> `Hey Laurens, somebody just tried to pull a fast one on me and said that you're dead. It's some absurd story about an ambush and who even does that kind of thing these days, anyway? I'm in a meeting or I'd be calling you, but still, here, have a laugh with me. `

> `Laurens?`

> `John, answer you phone, please, I'm starting to worry a little here, and you know that's never a good thing. `

> `Johnny? Don't do this to me. Don't have done this to yourself.`

> `I'm pulling up in front of your place, you'd better have somebody really pretty in bed. `

> `... no.`

 

That night

> `Man, you should be right here with me, you know? I'm so drunk and I don't care. You were supposed to live a normal life, you know, with your rich daddy and all the world out on a plate for you. If anyone was supposed to go young, that would've been me. And yet, here I am, and I'm drunk and alive, and you're cold and they won't even let me see you, the fuckers. And I'm drinking alone, though Mulligan almost tried to sweep me off with him. It's not right without you. Lafayette is flying overseas for your funeral. I don't even want to talk with him. Or with anyone. I want`

` I want to be looking into your bright eyes and tuning up your theories about how to fix this stupid world. But the world is here and you're not, and what the fuck am I supposed to do now, my friend? My best friend, the one who's more idealistic, was more idealistic than me, and what am I supposed to do, now? `

` You wanna know how drunk I am? I've got your bloody - literally bloody - phone sitting right in front of me, because I asked for it. It gives your alert for text from me - yeah, I checked, it's different - every time I press send. And I keep typing.  `

` Laurens. What happened, man. You can't be dead. `

` You can't be `

 

A week later

> [ Attached: photo of the gravesite. ]

 

Two months later

> `Hey, Laurens, how soon can you make it here, I really have something to show you. `  
>> `This subscriber's phone is out of range or switched off.`  
> `What? Turn your phone on, man!`  
>> `This subscriber's phone is out of range or switched off.`  
> `Shit. Sorry. I've stopped charging it, I guess.`  
>> `This subscriber's phone is out of range or switched off.`

 

Six months later

> `You know. This time I didn't forget that you're gone. And I'm not even drunk. I've charged your phone so I don't get messages saying that your phone's out of service. I just. I need my friend, John. I really, really need you right now, and you're gone. Utterly and completely gone. So I'm going to write at you here, and nobody will ever read this, but it's. It's the closest I can get. `

` I did something stupid, Laurens. Like, you wouldn't believe stupid. Not the kind that would bring down our dreams around us, no, but people-close-to-me-will-be-hurt stupid. And I don't - I'll do what I can for it to stay covered, but secrets, they have a way of coming up to light.  `

` Maybe if you'd been around, I would've been strong enough. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know anything, anymore. And I can't stop and consider the options, or amends. I have to keep going. You know how that works.  `

` You know how I work.  `

` John, I can't go on like this. If you were here you'd probably... actually, you'd probably punch me enough to bloody my nose, or give me a black eye. And even that would be better than this. The emptiness. Knowing that you'll never get to make things better. Not just to me, either. You won't get to watch your little girl grow (she's beautiful, but you wouldn't exactly be surprised at that). So bright. You'd have loved watching her talk about everything and anything. Almost puts me to shame. Except it's different. She's so like you.  `

` All the world's like you, and nobody and nothing in it is LIKE you.  `

` I don't even know or care what I'm typing. It doesn't matter, since nobody will read it.  `

` I just don't know how to do this without you, and yet I'm doing this. Botching it, as most of my life before I met you.  `

` Laurens, I hope you're well, where you are. That you don't have to spend too much time to look down over us. That you have all the equality that your heart desires, there. I hope `

` I hope to meet you, one day. I'm afraid to meet you one day. I hate that I'm afraid of you, in any shape or form.  `

` I'm `

` I feel stupid.  `

 

Five years later

> `I miss you, Laurens. `  
>> `This number is disconnected from service. Sorry for the inconvenience. `  
> `... fuck. `  
>> `This number is disconnected from service. Sorry for the inconvenience. `

 

Fifteen years later

> `John, I was passing by your favorite fountain and I was thinking about that one time when you cooled the wine in it.`  
>> `hey, it's katie, cool story, bro! who this?`  
> `I'm sorry for disturbing you, Ms. I seem to have the wrong number. `  
>> `o, no, now u'v got my interest. keep going.`  
> `Have a very pleasant evening. `

 

On a boat crossing the Hudson

(Unsent.) > `I'm on my way_`


End file.
